Cars That Totally Refuse to Die

[mercrocker]

What about those brave soldiers that won't lay down?

I bought a 2.3Lx Granada (note the small "x" as this I believe was a dealer edition rather than LX proper) in 1994. It was just ten years old which is plenty old enough for a 1980s Ford.

At first it played a few tricks - overheated (new thermostat sorted that) and the sunroof jammed. I wasn't fucking about with that - cut the cable, inched it shut, jacked it closed and pinned a rebel flag across the headlining.

However, after a few long trips and weekends away it began to settle down but displayed a worrying tendency toward masochism. I never knew what it said to other cars but it was always getting twatted by them.

First time was outside a friend's Mum's council flat in the next town. Some cunt bounced off the rear door as they drove by, pushed the fucker right in and bent the rubbing strip. I pushed that out with some bits of old pallet, took the strip off and hammered it straight and called it a day.

A few weeks later, sat at a red light I could see an approaching Orion in my mirrors. He wasn't fucking looking and was doing about 50. I inched across the intersection against the red as far as I dared but he still walloped the arse of the Granny, properly pushed the back valance in and stoved the lights.
Orion just sat there, pissing coolant with a very sore face. He got out, only to find the bloke whose house lay by the roadside had let a fucking great dog out (he was across their gate) and added to his misery. I swopped details and drove home. Insurance bloke came out and I thought it was a write-off but he organised a Laguna hire car (thanks mate) and had it away for repairs.

I no sooner got the bastard back when another fuckwit had a go - down by the local car auction. A Volvo 740, desperate to get into the block before it died, just pulled across in front of me into the entrance and took the front wing out. Again, a nice man came out and gave me a Clio (what was with this Renner shit - nobody fucking buying them or summat?) and the Granny went off for repair. Two weeks and nothing had happened and I got a letter to say I was liable for rental on the Clio soon. Yeah, right. Up yours. I took the Clio to the repair place chucked them the keys and demanded my Granada back. Took it home, pushed the wing straight with my right foot, suitably booted, and replaced the front lights.

Now rather battered and with a completely smooth rear valence (didn't even try and scrape the panel lines in through the filler, cunts) I took it to Luton for a weekend away where some skanky smackhead did the back window and had my stereo away.

Fixed again, I'd had enough and fell for a 2.8 Ghia X that a bloke at work had for sale - metallic red, Scorpio wheels and something I'd always admired. I put the 2.3 up for sale without a bite. Christmas Eve I get a call (Free Ads back then, no t'internet) "Will it make it to Newcastle?"
Chap needed to see his kids and his car had been nicked. "It went to Harrogate last month" was the only guarantee I could give. He gives me £300 and fucks off.

Six months later, I'm sat at the lights in the "new" one and the old gold 2.3 pulls up. Not the same matey driving it but I did shout across and turns out he bought the bloody thing in Newcastle and drove it back down South to our home town! Bloody thing was like a homing pigeon....

I saw it several times after that, each time a little more battered, rusty and smoky but still breathing. A year or so later, I see it in a scrapyard out in Wiltshire and just have to turn round and check it out. It is in there for banger prep but the gaffer got a soft spot for it and was doing it up for the road. Last taxed in 1999 so something did eventually kill it but I bet it died bloody hard.

[Guest]

We had a 1963 Mini Traveller. It had arrived in Pembrokeshire in the back of a furniture van when the owners moved down. It belonged to the wife of the new quarry manager who had just passed her driving test. A few years later she was ready for a decent car an my father bought it for £50. It was over ten years old and had had quite a hard life.
My brother was learning to drive, as was my cousin, so it was used by them for practice and then as secondary wheels when they both got their own cars.
It hung around. It burnt through a lot of oil (the poor thing often had second hand oil put in it from oil changes on other cars)
It was patched up from time to time and was then used by my aunt who was trying to learn to drive. She went off the idea when someone ran into the back. No major damage just broken lights and the fuel tank sprung a leak.
It was patched up again and still around when I started learning to drive in 1977.
By then it was quite rough and as well as the oil consumption would overheat if pushed hard or driven for too long.
I passed my test and it became my car, unless someone else wanted to use it. I had told my father that I didn't think the brakes were working properly. He told me they were alright, then he drove it himself and said I should have told him they weren't working.
It did seize once when my cousin used it, but when it cooled down started up and ran no worse than before.
After a couple of years I got my own cars and it was used less and less. My sister tried learning to drive in it, but gave up. She finally took her test when she was 27.
My father was ill when I was 19 and the Mini only saw one more MOT. It was eventually relegated to sitting in the back garden. My brother intended to sort it out and get it back on the road. Sadly my sister's horse took a dislike to it and stamped all over it so it went for scrap.

Other than that, we did have the engine that outlived four different cars.

[brandersnatch]

Good thread. In around 1992 I bought a rough 1980 W reg Mitsubishi Galant with 6 months MOT for £250 intending to run it till it ran out and then get rid. MOT time comes around, I put it in to see what happens and it passed. As it did for the next three years. I had to self tapper the bottom of the front wing to stop it flapping as it was a bit frilly but that was all I did to it.
Looking back it was a good car. A bit like a Japanese Cortina but updated a bit. Electric windows, power steering, four disc brakes, auto 2 litre. Metallic bronze with brown velour interior.
I think I got bored with it in the end and replaced it with a Renault 20 TX. That didn’t end so well.

[Warren t claim]

Firstly, may I take the opportunity to call you a cunt? I've been sitting on the idea of starting this thread with the very same title for a few weeks now.

Anyway, as the pleasantries are over I shall contribute.

I owned an ex taxi 1996 Ford Tourneo with about 380,000 miles on the clock.

It happily towed a caravan around Britain without a drop of water in its cooling system. When the water pump seized I simply bought a smaller alternator belt and by passed the water pump. When the motor locked solid through overheating I just let it cool down for 15 mins and restarted the engine.

[Mr Furious]

I more usually have cars that are begging to die and end up keeping them alive against their will, costs mounting up to the point of no return, where I have to pay the next bill to justify all the previous bills.

I’m not usually the first owner of a car, but I’m quite often the last

[Warren t claim]

I more usually have cars that are begging to die and end up keeping them alive against their will, costs mounting up to the point of no return, where I have to pay the next bill to justify all the previous bills.

I’m not usually the first owner of a car, but I’m quite often the last

It slightly depresses me how often I've been the last owner of a car, many of which were well under eight years old when I acquired them.

[AutoshiteBoy]

1998 R (Facelift) Ford Mondeo 2.0 Ghia Saloon. It replaced 2 courtesy cars and the works Maestro van. It had well over 150,000 miles on when I last used it. Eventually, the whole boot floor rotted out and that killed it. All the mechanicals were bomb-proof and it always drove great. I would regularly do 1,000 miles a week in it or just use it relentlessly around the doors for parts collections and deliveries. It was called the pub car as that was where it always ended up and be left overnight, over a weekend or over a week depending on work.

[treehugger]

I more usually have cars that are begging to die and end up keeping them alive against their will, costs mounting up to the point of no return, where I have to pay the next bill to justify all the previous bills.

I’m not usually the first owner of a car, but I’m quite often the last

It slightly depresses me how often I've been the last owner of a car, many of which were well under eight years old when I acquired them.

They just don't make cars like they never used to.

[LynehamHerc]

If you go back ,say, forty years or so cars used to be a lot more valuable, in a relative sense, though. They cost far more than they do now in terms of a households budget so a lot of effort would be made to keep them going. Maybe it was a working class thing where having a car was still relatively rare.

[treehugger]

Throwaway society, innit. Doesn't help with insurance companies being so wank and writing things off.