Two wheels good.

Talk about your cars etc here. Keep it sort of sensible and on topic please.
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Re: Two wheels good.

Post by Hooli »

My main memory of the CBT was walking off & swearing at myself for five mins. To start with I couldn't stop the habit from push bikes to 'let go of the brakes & push down on the pedal to go', which obviously doesn't work on a motorbike.
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Re: Two wheels good.

Post by brandersnatch »

I did the Frank Spenser test, passed all ok. 7th November 1980 around ten am, not that it’s an important date in my life or anything. I did an RAC-ACU course. Ten weeks, two hours on a Sunday morning and two hours lectures/talks on a Wednesday evening. £10.50, real bargain.
I went on to be and instructor and finally senior instructor with the RAC-ACU scheme as well as with Star Rider/Step, all volunteer/hobby.
The mix of instructor types was interesting. From me, long hair denim cut down over leather jacket on my Kawasaki Z250 (later Moto Guzzi LeMans11) through to the full Sam Browne wannabe copper type on his BMW100RT.
I did enjoy it and I’m still in touch with quite a few of the people from those days.
When I moved from East London to Essex I went to join a training scheme in Castle Point but I didn’t like the culture of the place. After my first morning we were standing around chatting. One if the instructors was calling the trainees morons. “This moron did this, this moron did this” etc. The chief instructor was there and didn’t intervene.
I pulled the bloke up on it and he said that they were all morons anyway. I got on my bike and left. I didn’t want to be associated with a scheme that was happy with that attitude.
Not long after it all stopped being voluntary and a hobby and became a job. I never went back to instructing. Every now and then I’ve wondered about going back to it but I’ve never gone beyond just wondering.
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Re: Two wheels good.

Post by brandersnatch »

Hooli wrote: Mon Jun 07, 2021 7:58 am My main memory of the CBT was walking off & swearing at myself for five mins. To start with I couldn't stop the habit from push bikes to 'let go of the brakes & push down on the pedal to go', which obviously doesn't work on a motorbike.
Bloody cyclists!
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Re: Two wheels good.

Post by Yellowperil »

Warren t claim wrote: Sun Jun 06, 2021 10:59 pm Motorcycle Instructor Required.

Wages. Shit.

If you're the sort of person who can get up at 7am with the mother of all hangovers on a wet Sunday morning to meet a hyperactive boy with ADHD on his 16th birthday who fucking knows it all as he's been riding robbed scooters on his council estate for many years then you may be the person we're looking for. The ability to do an impersonation of Mary Fucking Poppins by being able to jump high enough while holding a golf umbrella to avoid the Honda Vision sliding on its side towards you is a distinct advantage. Candidates will be expected to run around a compound in 30 degree temperatures whilst wearing full bike gear without suffering a cardiac arrest. The successful applicant should be able to ride an ER5 with no front brake after it was broken off when a pupil dropped it on a U turn.

If you feel that you have the qualities needed then please apply ASAP. Don't forget to mark your application "This is nothing like the job I thought it'd be."
That sums it up nicely, except it doesn't mention dealing with stupid car drivers.

I don't know If I told this one before...
I had a pupil who had never ridden a bike before, we were at some traffic lights and she stalled when they went to green.

I put my calming voice on and told her to start the engine and try again, but then the car driver behind her laid on his horn...

This didn't help the situation at all and her nerves overcame her and she stalled again, by this time the lights had gone back to red, so I told her to relax, take her time and be ready to go on green.

Lights go green, she stalls, driver behind starts on his horn again, obviously this made the situation far worse than it needs to be and now she is really panicking.
The lights go back to red again, so in my best calm voice I tell her to be ready when they go green again, although by this time I could feel the hackles rising.
There is now a queue forming behind us and my defence mechanism wants me to just ride away and leave the situation, but that would be frowned upon, I am in responsible for this woman and it just wouldn't be nice.

The lights go green again and almost simultaneously the driver starts beeping his horn, she stalls the bike again, what I want to say is. ..
"Forfucksake, woman! You know how to do this! You were doing it all morning in the yard! Fucking pull yourself together and ride the fucking thing!

What I actually say in a calm voice is...
"Don't worry about people behind you, it's their problem, not yours. Just stay calm, restart the bike and pull away, like you were doing all morning.
Pretend they are not there."

With this I turn around in my seat, make eye contact with the horny car driver behind her, raise my arm and just point at him, keeping my eyes locked onto his.
He manages to maintain eye contact with me for milliseconds, before he looks down and slowly starts sliding down in his seat, hiding behind his steering wheel.

The lights change and my student finally manages to pull away ( like she has done all morning) and away we go.

Ultimately situations like this resulted in me deciding that I could think of better ways to spend my weekends.
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Re: Two wheels good.

Post by Guest »

I didn't take a bike test until I was nearly 30, it was on my list of things to do. I had not been on a bike for years, my previous experience being riding a shagged out BSA Bantam in fields, without the knowledge of my parents (dearest Mama was dead against motorbikes).

I went to the "get you through the test" people who were or maybe still are next to the M4/M32 at Bristol.

I had to do the Part 1 (CBT?) around the cones job before being taken out of the road. My first drawback was having to remember the back to front gearchange and rear brake, compared to what I had ridden before. I was using their old CG125. The instructors were a bit rough and ready, but a good laugh. The other pupils ranged from the youngsters desperate for powered transport of any sort, a few older gits like me and one much older lady who was learning to ride prior to doing voluntary service overseas.

I managed not to kill the cones, but my first ride in the road was a bit scary as I tried to fit in all the observations and maintain control.

I must have been better at it than I thought I was as after a few goes I was pronounced fit to try for my Part 2.

Unfortunately the day of the test I was not given the CG125, but an MZ two stroke, with a disc brake, I was also allowed to cross Bristol to the test centre on my own, the first time I had been out unaccompanied. (I had been there before, to see where it was, on the road training)

I made it there through morning traffic without causing any accidents. I still remember a couple of things from the test. One being losing the examiner at a roundabout, I had been told a few times not to be too hesitant, so I went for a gap in the traffic without bothering about the bloke following. He did catch me up, I also stalled it once, but don't think he noticed. I wasn't sure if I'd done well enough to pass, but I did.

I was a lot more relaxed on the way back and had a celebratory mug of tea with a couple of the instructors. The first question being what bike was I going to get, which I hadn't thought about. Back then I could have gone straight from a 125 to a superbike, even I'm not that daft.

Needless to say my first bike purchase was like most of my car ones, not really thought through. I can't remember why I was up in London, but I ended up having a look in a bike place and liked the look of a Moto Guzzi V50 so bought the identical one next to it (my father always said don't buy the first one you see).

I have had a couple of those over the years, plus a few GPZs an Aprilia and my last bike was Honda. I have pretty much given up with them now as I don't feel my reactions are quick enough to avoid people trying to kill me.

My mother never found out that I had motorbikes as I never told any of my family until after she had died. Funnily enough found that my brother and sister had also ridden them without telling her.
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Re: Two wheels good.

Post by AMCrebel »

brandersnatch wrote: Mon Jun 07, 2021 8:27 am I did the Frank Spenser test, passed all ok. 7th November 1980 around ten am, not that it’s an important date in my life or anything. I did an RAC-ACU course. Ten weeks, two hours on a Sunday morning and two hours lectures/talks on a Wednesday evening. £10.50, real bargain.
I went on to be and instructor and finally senior instructor with the RAC-ACU scheme as well as with Star Rider/Step, all volunteer/hobby.
The mix of instructor types was interesting. From me, long hair denim cut down over leather jacket on my Kawasaki Z250 (later Moto Guzzi LeMans11) through to the full Sam Browne wannabe copper type on his BMW100RT.
I did enjoy it and I’m still in touch with quite a few of the people from those days.
When I moved from East London to Essex I went to join a training scheme in Castle Point but I didn’t like the culture of the place. After my first morning we were standing around chatting. One if the instructors was calling the trainees morons. “This moron did this, this moron did this” etc. The chief instructor was there and didn’t intervene.
I pulled the bloke up on it and he said that they were all morons anyway. I got on my bike and left. I didn’t want to be associated with a scheme that was happy with that attitude.
Not long after it all stopped being voluntary and a hobby and became a job. I never went back to instructing. Every now and then I’ve wondered about going back to it but I’ve never gone beyond just wondering.
I did that RAC/ACU scheme -it was great.
We had one woman on a C90 grandad bike - she never quite got the hang of the centrifugal (twist and go) clutch. The day we did hill starts she had in in neutral then revved it right up, realised she wasn't going anywhere and stamped on the gearchange - result was a massive wheelie and her landing with the bike on top of her - all of us racing to help her up. Thankfully she was unhurt.
I did my moped test (yes really) in 1978 after the RAC/ACU course - passed by a grumpy examiner "well you're not very good but I'll pass you". Fuck knows why I bothered as I got stopped every fucking five minutes by plod for no L plates - not one of the ignorant cunts even knew you could take a moped test.
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Re: Two wheels good.

Post by DodgeRover »

I did CBT and the rest where they follow you around, the main reason being so i could ride bigger trail and Mx bikes on the road legally without resorting to registering them as 125cc.
Only things I can remember we're being told not to just balance when stationary for a stop sign and to put my foot down and locking the front wheel on a patch of slippyness on my test, went round the block and stopped elsewhere fine so I passed.
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Re: Two wheels good.

Post by paulplom »

I did the cbt about 12 years ago. Very, very easy. An hour or so riding round cones using the back brake for balance? Then an hour in live traffic. You really would have to be a fucktard not to pass. Cost £100 iirc.
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Re: Two wheels good.

Post by Warren t claim »

I knew I should've done a separate thread for my instructor tales. Never mind, too late now.

I don't think I've ever mentioned the times when things haven't quite gone according to plan on a lesson.

One such occasion was when I took a couple of 500cc CBTs out on their road element. They'd both ridden before and had paid for a DAS course so I skipped the 125cc bit out altogether. This involved plenty of left and right turns using a variety of different roads eventually leading to New Brighton promenade to practise U Turns. One lad had just finished his lifesaver over his right shoulder and was pulling away when a white Mk2 Mondeo flew around the corner in his direction! I had to run across the road to grab his bars to stop him from getting broadsided! As the Mondeo passed I saw a sticker on the tailgate saying POLICE TRAINING VEHICLE.
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Re: Two wheels good.

Post by Warren t claim »

Our school used to offer a post test "Power Course," where an instructor would take you out for a few hours with you riding either your newly bought big bike or for extra cash, you could ride whatever big bike we had knocking around at the time, usually a RF900, VFR800 or Fireblade. Despite almost every DAS pupil saying that they'll come back after passing their test to take the course in reality very few did.

One lad clearly was Mr Cautious. He'd passed his test with flying colours on one of our ER5s and then bought himself a tidy 2001 CBR600f from a dealer we had links with. Being more concerned about his abilities that every other learner we'd taught, he asked us to collect his CBR from the dealer, take it to our school and he'd meet us there so I could take him out on his post test run on it.

The day arrives and Mr Cautious (an estate agent) turns up bang on time in his nearly new E Class with a slight look of fear in his eyes. He changes into his brand new matching leathers and I tell him to get on his new bike. I clear the compound of all cones and tell him to practice his slow speed control until he feels happy to go out on the road.

I had planned to take the VFR800 out for the run but half an hour earlier I dragged it out, started it up and then left it running whilst I answered the phone to a potential pupil. When I came out of the office I was greeted to the sight of a running VFR pissing green coolant everywhere so I shut it off and put it back.

My next choice of steed for the lesson, an RF900, had a borderline legal rear tyre and a chain that wold disgrace an outside toilet which meant I had to use the boss's Fireblade, hardly my first choice due to the almost legal speeds we'll be travelling at and after 90 mins it made my wrists ache.

Never mind, I hop on the Honda after Mr Cautious says that he's happy we head off on the road. I intruct him to head towards the M53 as that gives me time to ponder on whether to take him to North Wales or Delamere Forest in Cheshire. We join the motorway and as it's a quiet Sunday morning I tell him to give it some gas so he can get used to the power. He opens the throttle in probably third gear and romps up to 70, then 80, then 90! This isn't that unusual, a new rider on his first fast bike and wants to enjoy the acceleration. After he hits the ton I say "easy tiger!" over the radio but he doesn't acknowledge me at all and keeps accelerating! Then the truth suddenly dawns on me, he's frozen!

This situation has never happened before so I was wondering what the fuck I could do! Sooner rather than later he was going to crash and kill himself! I hit the horn and was screaming at him over the radio to no avail! His CBR was starting to sound strained at about 125mph forcing me to make an executive decision, I opened up the Fireblade, pulled up close next to him and hit his killswitch! Luck was on my side as this seems to snap him out of it and he slows down before pulling over to the hard shoulder!

After a fag and chill session he thanks me for my actions and assures me that'll never happen again. I have my reservations but as we're at the side of a motorway I give him the benefit of the doubt and we continue. I invoke the Plan B that we never had in the first place and swap our radios over so I can hear him and instruct him to let me know how he feels whilst riding. I obviously take point for the rest of the ride whilst keeping a beady eye in the mirrors at him.
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