Claim's Cabbies Corner. Repo Revenge.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Jeez....if people of minority were hassled like that there'd be a fucking outcry.

To be fair most PH drivers in the country are persons of minority. When London PH cars lost their congestion charge exemption and Black Cabs kept it. One of the arguments was that it was racial discrimination.

[mercrocker]

Yeah, good point....

[bub2006]

Regards the race card and taxi drivers,my Mrs drives buses round Derby. When inspectors are out in force she said there is yellow metrocabs, lti and suchlike all with Asian drivers scattering out of the city. There usually ends up with 2 or 3 white drivers getting vehicles checked on the rank that usually has 20+ cars on it.
She was once hit on the cockpitt junction in Derby by an Indian taxi driver running a red light,going back about 15 years ago now. The taxi driver ended up getting decked by the Mrs brother who is around 6ft 9 and built like a tank. He was screaming at my Mrs saying women shouldn't drive and she should have looked even though her light was green. That along with her brothers 9 year old daughter at the time and his mum in the car made him very upset. Wrote off my Mrs 6 month old astra as it hit it driver side on b pillar and t boned it.

[DodgeRover]

Those will be the drivers sharing one insurance policy and one driving license between 3 or 4 to keep a cab on the road 24/7

[bub2006]

Probably tested by a mates garage in Normanton too. Its a right scatter gun approach with them. Think inspectors are getting wise as lately they have had checkpoints on both entrances to the morledge rank,checkpoints up near cathedral quarter,pride oark and London Road.

[Warren t claim]

Anyway, more about Howard. I was tipped off by another EO that he was after me, along with another dozen local drivers. This was despite me having a clean record and no complaints. According to the other EO this was because Howard is a former copper and when his instinct pinged someone it was like a red rag to a bull. Howard paid a visit to the garage that was fixing my 306 that had snapped its cambelt which I mentioned earlier and took it upon himself to rub salt into my wounds by deplating it for having a broken engine which is a very grey area for seizing the plate off a PH car as it wasn't on a hired journey when the belt snapped.

Another encounter happened a couple of years later. I was using a Mk2 Mondeo for the night on Frank's circuit that was normally out on hire but I'd taken it back off the lad that day because the plate expired at midnight that day and had to get it tested the following day. I'd used that as an excuse to fuck off home at 11.30pm. Usually, there'd be no chance of getting caught but as the then Mrs_Claim had texted me to say that she'd made substantial additions to the Ann Summers wing of her wardrobe I wanted to fuck off home early. The next morning I lobbed Ex_Mrs_Claim in the car along with the kids to drop them off at school and take her quarter of a mile up the road to the doctors where she had an appointment for six month old Ickle_Claim on the way to get the car tested but that day WBC decided to have an enforcement day involving Howard riding around with local bike traffic plod Eric in a V8 Discovery. I reversed up the steep incline to the top of the road only to be greeted by said MerPol Traffic Disco waiting for me.

I was summoned to sit in the Disco with Eric whilst Howard and a VOSA cunt inspected my car. At this point I got a text on my phone from Frank to tell me he'd put me on his block insurance. He had obviously driven past and seen me stopped and made sure I was legal in the Mondeo. The Mondeo had a clean bill of health other than one tyre just being 1.55mm according to VOSA cunt. Said VOSA cunt, under the pressure of Howard, said he wasn't going to be an arsehole and make me change my tyre at the roadside, he'd just void my MOT instead! I then got slapped with a prohibition notice telling me not to travel at over 30mph anywhere!

Sadly that wasn't the end of my problems. The Mondeo contained myself, Ex_Mrs_Claim, Ickle_Claim and her other three kids making the Mondeo six up. This would be an immediate plate and badge losing offence but as the plate ran out eight hours ago technically I wasn't in a licenced vehicle so there was limited scope for Howard to nail me to the mast. This didn't stop him from opening the back doors and trying to interview the other kids, aged between four and nine, under caution! Somewhat unsurprisingly my ex had a shit fit at this and started kicking off at Howard! Eric the filth could sense tension and offered to take my ex and baby to the doctors for his appointment to diffuse the situation.

This left me, Howard and a very bewildered looking VOSA cunt at the roadside around my Mondeo. VOSA cunt was refusing to show me the tread depth gauge he'd checked my tyre with and Howard was holding on to the expired taxi plate that I'd of been handing back at lunchtime anyway as some sort of trophy. Eric returned sans Ex_Mrs_Claim and before Howard and VOSA cunt got back into the Disco demanded to know whether I'd paid for an MOT certificate the last time the Mondeo was tested. I should explain that said Mondeo was just over six years old last time it was tested and therefore is was only eligible for a six-month plate. At the time the owner of a PH car could pay an extra tenner for an MOT cert at plating time because then Taxis were considered MOT exempt. He knew no drivers paid the tenner to get the cert and was trying to get Eric to charge me for driving without an MOT. Despite being a cunt, Eric really wasn't interested in being dragged into what was obviously a personal vendetta at 8.30am in the morning so ordered Howard and VOSA cunt back into the Disco to seek more low hanging fruit.

After dropping the kids off at school (whilst never exceeding 30mph) and getting the car inspected (and passed) I went home. At this point, Ex_Mrs_Claim informed me that during the unpleasant proceedings Ickle_Claim had become distressed forcing her to lob a knocker out and breastfeed Ickle_Claim. Apparently, Howard had shown great interest in this and leered at her causing much offence. Now, W.T.C isn't too keen on nonces so I went straight to the Town Hall demanding satisfaction. When there I demanded to speak to the boss of licencing, a lady called Margaret who's still there today. I demanded that Howard is recalled back to the office to answer for his pervert actions to which her reply was "that's not possible as he's out on an enforcement exercise." Evil Warren, who by now had appeared at the scene, didn't like this answer and correctly stated that "If it was a driver being alleged of the same offence he'd have been suspended and arrested by now!" Margaret, who by now was getting both flustered and angry, said that without Ex_Mrs_Claim being there to make the complaint she had few options.

Shortly after the above incident, I split up with Mrs_Claim. Maybe six months later I was going through the voicemails on my mobile, something I rarely bother doing and was surprised to hear a message from the local councillor in charge of licencing inviting myself and Ex_Mrs_Claim to come in for a coffee and chat about a matter involving her and a member of staff. It turns out that WBC had received many complaints about Howard and was looking for a way to get rid of him! Obviously, neither of us attended due to break up issues. Many years later when I returned to the trade I spoke with another EO who told me that one day Howard left the office as normal and never retuned again. No retirement party, no final farewell, just vanished never to be seen in the town hall again.

TL:DR.

Anyway, what about Eric the bike copper who was driving the V8 Discovery.

A few points to mention here. A couple of months later Wirral was hosting the British Open Golf at The Royal Liverpool Golf Club in Hoylake and I was there in my Metrocab ranked up to exploit foreign visitors wanting to go to far flung destinations as is the god given right of any hackney driver when Eric decides to approach my open driver's window for a friendly chat. He's acting like my best mate asking how Alison (Ex_Mrs_Claim) was and giving me the best "no hard feelings" act to which I played along with. Eric was convinced he knew me from somewhere and after a while the penny drops and he remembers that I'm an instructor at a local bike school.

W.T.C by now has this nagging thought in his mind that just won't go away. Later that day, after charging a Swedish golf fan a couple of hundred to take him to Stoke On Trent, goes back home to have a little Google. Now Eric has a slightly unusual surname that's the same as the maiden name of the neighbour from hell who lives next door! It turns out that Eric is her brother and was no doubt abusing his powers to pry into our lives! The shit we were going through with the neighbours ranged from comical to vindictive. She reported me for taking a ten year old out on the back of my bike, social services turned up and when I informed them that as long as the child was wearing a helmet and their feet could reach the rear pegs it was 100% legal they were happy. Them stuffing bin bags full of pillows down out drains was quite common and I'm totally convinced that after hearing them drill into an adjoining wall, they'd planted a deep listening probe to hear what we were talking about. One day I even opened a letter addressed to me from the Advertising Standards Authority, apparently, I'd emailed a complaint that the car using the Crunchy Nut Cornflake lane in the current advert run for said cereal didn't have a valid tax disc!

To my surprise, Eric turned up at the bike school a few days later to leave us some leaflets about the Bike Safe courses he ran at weekends. At that time we had a lady called Tracey who used to hang around the office answering the phone/making coffee/deleting the best porn from our PC in exchange for lessons. As Eric was acting like my "best fucking mate" I asked Tracey to go and make him a coffee whilst I escorted him to the training compound to watch the learners I was CBTing at the time. A few minutes later Tracey shouts that the coffee was ready so I scamper back into the office to fetch them. Much to the surprise of Tracey, WTC whips his cock out and proceeds to rim Eric's coffee cup before zipping myself back up and taking Eric's cockachinno out to him...

[paulplom]

I had 'mates' who would do that in the bar. You'd have to take your pint to the toilet with you. Nothing was sacred back then.

[mercrocker]

Times like that its worth sacrificing a half pint of lager in order to top it up with Pine disinfectant....

[Warren t claim]

It's always a pleasant surprise when you pick up someone who did a runner eight months ago.

That's an extra tenner in my wallet that I'd forgotten about.

[brandersnatch]

I’d love to have seen the miscreant’s face. Did he pay up straight away or did you call Evil Warren?