The Dark Wob

AutoshiteBoy wrote: ↑Fri Apr 09, 2021 4:51 pm Jaguar XF.

Bollocks to that.....

AutoshiteBoy wrote: ↑Fri Apr 09, 2021 4:51 pm That sounds like a job where the minicab should be a Jaguar XF.

I think my Chrysler 300c Hemi would have been suitable, but the pay probably wouldn't cover the fuel

Tell us more about the Hemi?

I thought you said semi, I was going to say I reckon Stacey could help you with that.


Less annoying tag line.

For a fee.

Everything worth having comes at a price it’s all about if you’re willing to pay it.


Less annoying tag line.

I’d love this job but in reality it’d be flask coffee and agro.


Less annoying tag line.

A friend used to do the same when he ran a brothel in the States, pre mobile phone days, any more than 60 minutes without a signal and it was kick down the door time.

Must have liked his work as he ended up married to one of the girls

Today was one of those days.

I was dragged ten miles to cover a £7 account job that'd been knocked back by three other drivers. It was a Chester hotel job going to the station.

Soft arse here, sensing the operator's desperation to get the job covered agreed to run for it.

I rock up at the hotel and load the bags for a very camp film set hairdresser into the boot whilst a fretting Rylan Clarke hops in the back. He's shitting himself after us being stuck in heavy Chester traffic and decides to change the destination to Crewe station where his connecting train to London is. This knocks the price up to £50 which suits me fine.

I update the datahead sat nav only to see that we're only going to get there with a minute to spare! Fuck!

Not wanting to let the guy down I thrash fuck out of my poor Ioniq and by utilising some forceful driving techniques I make it to Crewe station with about 90 seconds to spare. For my efforts and the banter on the way he throws me a £40 cash tip which suits me just fine!

Just in case you are interested, according to him the bigger the celeb the nicer the person. For example, Gemma Collins is an utter bitch but Kate Winslett is a delight! Madonna is a fucking diva and Trinny from Trinny and Susannah totally loves her coke!

Anyway, after completing the journey and W.T.C being £90 better off, I get given another Cheshire job which is taking a couple home to the posh part of Wirral from Frodsham after dropping their LHD 7.5 tonne Iveco camper into storage. Another £45 received with thanks!

£135 earnt in two and a half hours. That'll do nicely thank you!

Trinny. Oh we didn’t get on! We just didn’t like each other. Another “why are we going this way?” pain in the arse.
Bit thick too. Pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a scruffy courier of my acquaintance. (I never knew his real name, he was Lord Romford. Full on furty farzand fevers on a frushes froat cockney.)
Me. Lord Romford, how’s it going mate.
LR. Awright geezer mustn’t grumble you know. ‘Ello darling. (To Trinny.)
Lights change, he disappears into the distance.
T. Is he really a lord? I’ve never heard of Lord Romford.
Me. (Stifling laughter) Oh yes, comes from a very old family but he’s a bit embarrassed about it so he just puts on the accent. Owns half of Essex.
T. (Still not getting it.) How interesting.
Some time later Suzannah was asking me whether I was winding Trinny up so I’m calling that one a success.