The Dark Wob

Youse have all had a charmed life arguing over whether an Elsie or an MX5 is better. I drove my then brother in laws S1 Elsie down to South West France with him. Never got chance to test the handling but it was comfortable for me 6’4” but the seats were a bit thin and gave me backache. It was impossible to converse or hear the radio at motorway speeds and we nearly cooked it around Paris in the traffic due to the marginal cooling.

Anyway, by far my shittest car was an Audi A3. It must have been a Friday afternoon one because the cunts hadn’t fitted it with suspension at all.
It was a petrol 1.6 FSI - Audi’s Teutonic name for petrol direct injection. Apart from that it was old school NA 16v. I imagined it might be like my mates old MR2 or my Passtit VR6 - needing revs to get going. It wasn’t. Adding revs just made a fucking horrible noise but it had no power anywhere across the Rev range.
It was as thirsty as fuck and had the most pointless 6 speed gearbox ever - in top it was still revving it’s nads off at motorway speeds so not only were you being shaken about like a space shuttle take off (I have never had it been in a worse riding car - it was so wank it found bumps on smooth motorway) but it was as noisy too.
It ate its egr valve, the rear screen wash leaked into the rear hatch lock TADTS due to brilliant German design, the disc back plates rotted away and disintegrated into the disks making a worrying noise. The stereo was shit.

Maybe we all need to own an Audi to find out how shit they are.

Oh and the handling was no fun either, boring understeer mostly. The one time I got a rear end slide going in the wet, the ESP slammed the brakes on in a vicious and scarily noisy way that said “for you, driver, ze fun is over”.
Did I say it was wank?

Hooli wrote: ↑Thu May 06, 2021 3:22 pm It always amazes me that so many Corsas are about, right back to the first ones I don't know anyone who actually liked them when they had one.

Cheap finance deals and insurance I guess. Presumably to people who know nothing about cars they are adequate transport boxes.

I can't speak much for the older models, a mate had a '98 Corsa B 1.2 at college, but that was a cheap, several student owners car with a body kit, lowering springs and a slightly twisted front end. So not the finest example.
Another had a Corsa C which I think was at least reliable and was simply driven until it fell to bits.

captain_70s wrote: ↑Fri May 07, 2021 7:27 am

Hooli wrote: ↑Thu May 06, 2021 3:22 pm It always amazes me that so many Corsas are about, right back to the first ones I don't know anyone who actually liked them when they had one.

Cheap finance deals and insurance I guess. Presumably to people who know nothing about cars they are adequate transport boxes.

I can't speak much for the older models, a mate had a '98 Corsa B 1.2 at college, but that was a cheap, several student owners car with a body kit, lowering springs and a slightly twisted front end. So not the finest example.
Another had a Corsa C which I think was at least reliable and was simply driven until it fell to bits.

An early GF of mine had a mk1 Corsa, it had all the bad points of a Nova like the pedals being behind the centre console & slightly worse visibility along with less interior space as they'd just shaved the corners off a Nova to make it.

I mean, it surely can't be difficult can it? Building a moderately mundane small hatchback? Chevettes, Sunbeams, Metros, early Fezzas, 205s, Mk1/2 Polos, Starlets, R5s....Not the object of desire exactly but fun to a 17 year old, affordable, fixable and still of some use to those who didn't aspire to anything else.

This is where modern cars fall down to me - the lack of simplicity and ergonomics, visibility, responsive handling etc...Surely all attributes needed more than ever in today's traffic?

Hooli wrote: ↑Fri May 07, 2021 10:15 am

captain_70s wrote: ↑Fri May 07, 2021 7:27 am

Hooli wrote: ↑Thu May 06, 2021 3:22 pm It always amazes me that so many Corsas are about, right back to the first ones I don't know anyone who actually liked them when they had one.

Cheap finance deals and insurance I guess. Presumably to people who know nothing about cars they are adequate transport boxes.

I can't speak much for the older models, a mate had a '98 Corsa B 1.2 at college, but that was a cheap, several student owners car with a body kit, lowering springs and a slightly twisted front end. So not the finest example.
Another had a Corsa C which I think was at least reliable and was simply driven until it fell to bits.

An early GF of mine had a mk1 Corsa, it had all the bad points of a Nova like the pedals being behind the centre console & slightly worse visibility along with less interior space as they'd just shaved the corners off a Nova to make it.

We had one here a while - 2001 Corsa C in that giffer green they did. Ms Rebel's daughter had it for her first car only she fucked off to University and left it here. The RHD/LHD arrangements were odd to say the least. The battery cables ran in a crappy arrangement across the scuttle - a right mess. The heater was very poor, apparently a TADTS issue. otherwise it was utterly forgettable.

Previous GF had 1.0 3 pot - I liked the sound of that engine, nowt else.

They are definitely for girls.

Corsa always used to be popular first cars as they were what you learnt in with the driving instructor. So became the logical first car to own as it was familiar.

SiC wrote: ↑Fri May 07, 2021 10:51 am Corsa always used to be popular first cars as they were what you learnt in with the driving instructor. So became the logical first car to own as it was familiar.

I learned in a Fiesta 1.6TDCI, thank fuck.

If I'd learned in a Corsa I would have been put off driving for life. I am bit biased against Vauxhalls though. I can't put my finger on anything specific, they just make me physically cringe whenever I sit in one.

I learned in a Nova and have never liked small Vauxhal's since.