The Dark Wob

I'm normally a, "more petrol, less polish" sort, and the big E38 is a little new for my tastes, but it's such an astounding thing, I treated it to a fiver's worth down the Kosovan Kar Kleanerz.

Scrubs up well.

Looks tidy. What's the story, new purchase?

No. Had it a while. It doesn't get out much.

I bought it because of its mental spec:-
Hydraulic boot;
Tables, vanity headrests and writing pad;
Double glazing;
Blinds;
EDC;
Rear air con;
Chrome line trim;
Power fold mirrors;
Mood lighting;
Nav, TV, dsp
Xenons;
Shadowline
And others I've forgotten about.

I got it cheaply because the guy I bought it from bought it for one thing only - the ludicrously rare rear screen. Having retrieved that, he needed his money back and I picked it up guaranteeing not to break it for profit. Removing that screen left the rear air con housing damaged, but fortunately I had one.

I also had a pair of sport contour seats in the right colour, so whipped the tables off the original comfort seats and made a set of sport contours with tables and put them in.

It had the wrong bonnet and a bashed rear bumper (believed to be the transport guy, but he denied it), so they were replaced with a better pair and it had some paint flung at it. I had the wheels polished
and used it sporadically.

A flapping cover left light scratches and lack of sealant on the wheels caused them to go dull, so it was annoying me when "The Boss of Gloss" pitched up in his Overfinch L322 for a new key.

He's made an amazing job of it, but then I'm used to washing cars once every six months whether they need it or not.

I always wondered what drugs were being smoked when BMW management - most of whom had an E38 like this - looked at the E65 successor and said "yeah, that looks well smart m8"

I have a deep lack of trust for 4.4 V8 BMWs after my E61 and it's less than spectacular reliability.

I forgot you had that - has it departed?

I'm running the 530d version of this car, fucking horrible things.

The E38 had the M62, not the M62 yours has.

It's now in Moscow apparently. Providing the gearbox (already on its second at 198k) made it.

Was it a nightmare? Those things are just to be avoided tbh.

Is this the one that if it makes that 'pop' sound in the back you're fucked?

The alarm has just gone off on mine for no reason at all. I bet it does it again at 3am, just for shits'n'giggles.